Have you ever felt the darkness, being alone in a place where no one understands why you can’t seem to “see the light”? I have been there. By God’s grace, I can share this story. It begins in my past…
Tennessee is a beautiful state, from Graceland to Gatlinburg, and I am very thankful for God’s blessings on this country girl, from Tennessee.
As a kid, I loved the music that played on the radio, and I’ll never forget the ones that we always sang; “I saw the light, no more darkness, no more night…..”
Did you know that the song, “I Saw the Light” was written by country singer Hank Williams? The song is listed in the category of “Country Gospel” and is a staple in the Gospel genre, even today. In 2005, CMT (Country Music Television) ranked it as the Number ONE, #1, song of the Top 20 Greatest Songs of Faith. But, there is an amazing, inspirational story behind this legendary song.
Since 1947, from Roy Acuff to Bob Dylan, “I Saw the Light” has been covered (re-released) by dozens of artists, with immeasurable success. The scope of this song is impossible to grasp; it is powerful. Who would have EVER thought this song, and its Writer, would be legends? GOD! Only God saw the “Light” because He is the Light. (John 8:12)
What started as a failure, God changed to abundant success. The #1 County-Gospel Song of ALL TIME was REJECTED by Nashville, the birthplace of Country music. But, God intervened. Its composer, Hank Williams, was a drunk, a nobody, who somehow found the grace of God and the favor of MGM Records. (It’s a great story on Wikipedia here.)“It was the prayer of the backslider, who lives in hope of redemption,” wrote biographer, Colin Escott.
So, what does this have to do with my Blog? Well, it’s a story, and if you know me, then you know that I like a good story. However, I would rather not have had to lived through this one. I can relate to this song in ways I never would have imagined, and I can sincerely say that I have seen the LIGHT. “Praise the Lord, I saw the Light…”
If you have given up on your dreams; If you have little to no “hope”; If you think that TIME has passed you by; then, maybe you should take a moment and read this story…
God is amazing. I hope that my story encourages you, if you are feeling like the darkness has overtaken the “light” in your life. There is HOPE….you will SEE, feel, hear, sense, and know the “LIGHT” again. But, to understand the power of the Light, you will know the dread of the darkness. There is a journey, a path, a wilderness trek that many of us will take at some point in life, whether we planned it or not.
In May 2016, I began to feel really tired, all day, everyday. The days had started to get tiring and long, In February, I awoke one morning and every joint in my body ached, like never before, whether I moved or not. The bottom of my feet hurt to stand, as I limped to the bathroom. What is this?
I made an extra cup of coffee that morning and pushed onward. We had a big event coming up, as I remember; I had to keep going. With my extra coffee, I added a few extra Ibuprofen tablets, so I could keep going, and, going….and, going. By May, I was beyond the help of extra coffee or ibuprofen or sugar or any of my trusted “supplements.” Nothing seemed to help. I was praying and praying, but there was no answer. I felt cold, chilled to the bone. I felt the darkness creeping around me, waiting for my collapse. That day began a journey of searching for answers. Why the pain, at this level? Why now?What was missing?
I stopped working. We shut down Media 4 Women, the marketing company that Tonilee and I started in 2009. By October 2016, I was so sick, so beyond tired, that our ministry started to suffer. By December, our 11-year Radio program had to stop production. Our 12th Annual Women’s Conference in San Diego was not going to happen in 2017. There was no energy to “speak” at events, or “teach” our Bible studies, or update the Daily Devotions, or just get out of bed. Depression crept in and darkness settled itself upon me. Where was the LIGHT? Why was this happening?
Finally, by the end of 2016, I had a diagnosis. After a pint of blood and a catalogue of tests, the doctor (Endocrinologist) shook my hand and said, “Congratulations! You are REALLY SICK. You are not crazy. You are sick.” I wasn’t sure if I was relieved to finally have answers, or if I was too tired to care.
After months of chronic illness, I did not have the strength, or the attitude, to “take up my mat” (John 5) and get going, to get better. The “darkness” is an entity in itself. IT is heavy and lifeless. IT has a way of overtaking, overwhelming the opportunity for any “light,” or hope, to breakthrough. The “IT” is the “ENEMY” to any Christian. I (We) know the right words, the right Bible verses, and yet, “IT” is not going away without a fight. And, I was just too tired…
To Be Continued….Part 2 is coming! (I’ll attach the Song next blog)